woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
we should paint friendship bongs
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