i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
