i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
