at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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