You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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