I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
