It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
