Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
