we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
