? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
