i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
