she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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