I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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