words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So many bounce houses so little time
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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