you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
