May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
