Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Randomize
