I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
