2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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