you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
mondays should just be called national damage control day
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
