I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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