Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize