5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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