I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
organizing the empties. That sober.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
