we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
