Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
