My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
