I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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