once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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