can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
