i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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