Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
