I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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