Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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