i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
