Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
