You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
