Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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