Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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