I'm pants shitting drunk right now
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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