So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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