She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
