my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
