you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
