I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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