I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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