omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
