You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
