covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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