I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
