If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
