She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize