So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
