We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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