hell yes lets make some ravioli
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
