Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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