just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
