I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
