Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
