my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
